t's blog: "Poetry"

should i push aside all my pride and always wonder where he is should i stay home late at night knowing another has felt his kiss should i leave and never come back or stay and feel my heart ache should i stand strong and see how much i can take should i wonder where he is or wut he has did should i push aside the pain and stay for our kid

tell me wut to do tell me wut to say tell me how to make the sadness go away tell me when to smile help me dry the tears tell me how to get over those aching fears lift me up when i am down make me laugh when i cry give me a reason to live when i say i wanna die i cant get it out of my head it just wont go away whenever i try to smile those fears come bac to stay be strong when i am weak be brave when i am scared tell me i am wrong when i think nobody cared be my friend n hold me n plz dont let go promise yull always be there when i need u so

when will it stop when will it end when will my shattered heart finally get to mend why do u hit me what did i do my only fault in this life was falling inlove wit u everytime u hit me every time i cry u grab onto my neck n tell me "i wish yud die" i sit there on the floor my face bruised n bleeding u get so furous at me when im on my knees pleeding i dont tell anyone i cry and im so scared sometimes i think even if i did nobody'd even cared u took away my breath and almost took my life then u had the nerve to ask me to be yer wife everyday u hit me n everyday i cry everynight i go to sleep wishing i wuld die i wake up every morning and u hovering over my face u draw bac yer fist n quickly its bac in place no matter how much i beg no matter how much i pleed my face will be full of bruise n it will always bleed im close to taken a life taken away all my pain with me not being here yud have nothin left to gain i want to say goodbye to my family n my friends this is where i take bac my life this is where my heart mends i dont want u to cry for me i dont want u to care i dont want nobody to know i dont want knowone there

I hate how you make me cry I hate how you think I always lie I hate how you break my heart I hate how you tear it apart I hate how you walk away I hate how you never stay I hate how your gone and never here I hate when you see me shed a tear I hate the little things you do I hate how I dont hate anyone... not even you

My twin and I are close Even though we arent the same When we get in trouble Its eachother that we blame Our parents say were cousins But of course we disagree We live so far apart But my twin she'll always be Our grandma says were twins But if we werent we wouldnt care She knows when I am hurting And beside me she is there We have eachothers back She means so much to me My twins and I are close And thats how we'll always be! To Tiffany, I love you girly!!!!

My doctor called the other day She called right out of the blue She scheduled me an appointment And said "I have bad news for you" I didnt think nothing of it Until she lowered her head I never could have prepaired myself To hear what she had said I sat there with a smile I was having the best day I ever had I saw that worried look on her face I knew the news was bad She said "You have a disease" And I instantly started crying I couldnt feel no pain But inside I was dying I didnt want to believe it So she showed me in black and white She said we can try and beat it But it will be an ongoing fight Every 3 months there will be blood work And these pills you'll have to take This is a life or death situation The choice is yours to make She asked me how I felt And I couldnt say a word I guess I was speechless Because of what I heard When I left her office I had no expression on my face This was deffinately a day That I wish I could erase Well I guess we'll see what happens But at night I still cry The biggest choice I'll ever make "Do I live or do I die"

After all the things you said It leaves me feeling blue I never thought for once Id be betrayed by you How can you hurt someone Thats never done you wrong And expect them to stay there And pretend to be so strong You underestimated me I guess you always will Its like when your doing this You get some sort of thrill I put an end to all my hurting And to all the hurtfull things you do I finally put an end To being betrayed by you

Why do I feel the way I do Why do I take all this sh*t from you How could you treat me, the way you did Didnt even bother you, knowing im your kid I thought you loved me, the pain is real You seemed to control my thoughts and how I feel And yet it never sank in your head How would you react if I was dead Unable to hurt me, unable to see The kind of person I'd grow up to be You could have stopped my heart from breaking You could have took back all the aching Maybe someday it will sink in your head Hopefully before I end up dead

The last time we spoke We spoke about forever The last time we cuddled Was when we were together The last time I laughed so hard Was when I was with you The last time I looked at a star My wish had just came true The last time I had felt this way Was when you made me cry The last time we faught Was when you told me a lie The last time I said Those three little words to you That was when you left And there was nothing I could do

How do I let go To the way things used to be How do I let go Of the hold you had on me How do I let go To these feelings in my heart How do I let go To the fact, we drifted apart How do I let go Of those words you used to say How do I let go When I see you everyday How do I let go Of how happy we used to be How do I let go Suddenly its all so clear to me