Jonathan's blog: "Respect"

A slave is a truly enraptured and enrapturing creature, capable of the greatest pain and the deepest passion. She is a temperamental creature, simultaneously fickle in her emotions, and fiercely, ferociously devoted in her affections. She is tumultuous and tempestuous, a mercurial maelstrom, and she knows no other way to be. If she could, she would not change, because, on some primeval level, she realizes that the death of her passion would be the death of her. In truth, a slave is not simply the finest of all creatures; she is the epitome of all creatures. She combines strength and weakness, boldness and a certain shy innocence, languor and desperation; she is both cosmopolitan and naïve. Her nature is an amalgam of all that is passionate in any sense of the word. She is nothing without an owner, but in his arms, she is all things. She is voracious and demanding, wanting nothing more, and certainly nothing less, than the absolute enslavement of the one she loves–the owner of her soul. She cannot be, will not be, and is incapable of being completely happy, until she knows to the very depths of her being that her owner is, in truth, owned by the reality of owning her. She longs for the completion of a partner in her own rapture and misery.

Just some lessons I have learned in life:

Learn to Forgive. in 2000, my mother was going through a rough patch in her relationship with her boyfriend Ed. One ninght, Ed called me and asked if I could come over and talk with my mother. I went over andf foundteh kitchen in shambles and my mother raging at Ed who was incompasitated because of his health. Ed sat there as Mom raged on and on. I could tell that she had been drinking, so I asked her to just talk with me in teh other room as to try and difuse the situation. In teh bedroom, she told me about how Ed had done this and one that and never followed through on this, all the time I was watching her drink long deep drinks from her cup. as she lit a cigarette I took teh cup, sniffed, smelled the vodka and poured it out in front of her to her disbelief. Then I goaded her anger towards me. After tyaking her rage I finally just asked,"you talked about leaving before, you obviously arenot happy, so why don't you just leave for both your sakes?" Her response was that I don't have teh balls to make her leave. In a span of 18 minutes, I had her 7 bags packed,  including one for just shoes, a cab called, clothes for her to wear to the airport, and her house keys and credit cards. 18 minutes. On her way out the door, she stopped, turned and said to both of us, while looking at me through her bloodshot eyes "Remember that when you die, I will not be there to pay my respects to you because I have no respect for either of you." And then she was gone. Ed took her back a week later, it took my Grandmothers funeral in 04 for she and I to speak again, and that was a call by me to just keep her up to date on Grandma Williams health. For four years, it hurt Grandma that mom and I didn't speak, but I know that she was grateful that we were evenif it was because of teh situation. After the funeral, mom and I worked things out and she and I are stong and loving, the rest of my family, not so much. I missed four years of my mothers life, four years of Ed's life because of my anger toward my mother, and she with me. Although all teh events leading to that night on 2000 were a steady decline in our relationship, we could have learned, supported, and help build our relationship. It is one of very few regrets that I have (I only have 3). Ed passed away in 05, so one horrible act ended up effecting over a dozen lives. When you have situations like that, your body is geneticly programed to inflict everything that it can to end the situation. My mother forgave me for removing her from a house and relationship that she had been in for over a decade, I forgave my mother for things said that she did not mean or intend while under the influence. And I should have been bigger to see that because I dealt with that 6 nights a week as a bouncer. Forgivness is a baptism. It helps wash the stains of sin and pain.

Some things I have learned in life:

Take yourself out of your comfort zone. On occation, you need to step out of your normal security and expose yourself to things that you would never consider. For example, I am not a great fan of hieghts. I am not scared, I just haver respect for how quickly that ground approaches when you fall. But with that uneasiness, I have been skydiving. It i sthat mastery of a fear that helps you grow. I don't know much about Islam, Philosophy, Politics, but that doesn't mean that I have not read, played in or visited places that help me understand them. By getting yourself involved you can not only open yourself up to the wholness of the subject, but dammit when you want to argue it, you already have ammo to defend and offend with. Knowledge of what is outside your comfort zone helps exl=pand yoru zone and broadens you as a person.

Shed your skin and embark!. I have this morbid olan. People hate when I say it, it makes most uncomfortable. But I plan on being dead at 40. I have a five year plan. I doo this because I realize that I as do everybody can proctrastinate. "I can call hm back tomorrow" "I am young I have plenty of time to go to Europe" "I don't need to plan for retirement, I have many years left of work in me". Soon, tomorrow becomes a day, then a week, then a month. Before to long so much time has passed that you get embarassed that you didnt return a call and avoid it adding to more misery. At 31, I went back to college to play college hockey. At 34 I had a tryout lined up to play semi pro hockey in Australia,at 34 I tried out for two semi pro teams in Findlay Ohio and another in Illinois, at 35 I tried out for a semi pro team in Evansville Indiana. At 36, I am planning a move to Germany after taking the ASVAB to enlist in the Army. We only have one life to live. We can either live it through what we see on TV or we can go to the grand canyon and know what it is like to smell the dust and air around that great chasm in the earth. We can watch waterfalls on the history channel or we can taste the crisp water after we jump off that cliff next to that waterfall. You can either look at pictures or you can feel the coarse stone beneath your fingertips of the Pyramids of Giza as you marvel at the masonry and mystery of how they were built. How do you want to live your life?

Just some things that I have learned in life.

Be generous with yourself. Being generous with yourself is not just a financial endevour. If walking up teh street, you give a 1, 5 or even 10 dollar bill to the homeless man sitting on the corner, that is generous. But to give of yoru self, that takes true generosity. And you don't have to stretch yourself to do it either. If you love to sew, save what you sew and donate it at the end of teh year to a local home, childerns hospital, church. If you love sports, become a little league coach and instill your passion for the game. If you love art, take time to spend it with children who want to paint sketch and create. There was man who was wealthy. He worked long tireless hours wanting the best for his family and teh best oppertunities for his children. To replace his often having to work during holidays and special events, he lavished his family with all teh latest fasion, electronics, and luxuries. One year durring his daughters 8th birthday he was running late and just wrote a quick note saying "I am sorry I missed your birthday. I love you and see you when I get home." Years later , walking by his daughters room he poked his head in. All around the room was years of gifts, toys, gadgets and clothes crowding walls and shelves from floor to ceiling. But on her dresser was that note he left he when she was 8, in a frame still pristein. He walked in and asked "why do you have this silly little note in a frame" looking up she replied "Because it is the only thing I have that is truely from you." There is no material thing in this world that can replace you.

Failure is just as important as success. Ther si greater nowlege in failing that there ever is in succeding. Most important, you learn your limits and you learn yourself. If you fail and you allow that to define you, then you know that the blame lies soley on your shoulders and you have to carry that burden always. But if you fail, abd you learn from it, take what you learn and apply that again, people rarely fail twice at the same thing. If you open a restaurant and it fails. you can say well I am just not cut out for this and drown yourself in being someon elses minion. But if you open a restaurant and it fails, you look at yourself andf say "Ok what in my game plan went wrong? Location? Menu? service? quality?" suddenly you are back into your zone thinking of creartive ways to change and reinvest. In every aspect of life you can either win or fail. it is what you gain from those pitfalls that define your life, not what you have accomplished.

Some things I have learned in Life.

Live each day to the fullest. I had a friend named Devin who was am incredible human being. He had been hit by a car when he was 5 or 6. Doctors didn't give him until his 7th birthday, but he surpassed that and died when he was 22. Every day that man had a smile on his face. He worked hard through disabilities and his body attacking him because he wanted to graduate high school. He and I both worked 50 hours a week my senior year and would walk the two miles home and talk outside in rom of our apartments until 1am. When he moved back to Anderson, we lost touch somewhat. We still talked on eth phone, but not liek what we use to. One christmas, my moteh cam e into town and we planned dinner, devin came in town and I begged him to come with us. For a christmas presant I was taking mom to get portraits done and after taking 16 pictures I convinced Devin to sit in with me the last four. teh first three he didn't smile, but a little joking and little of teh old us came out and they got one of teh best pucturesthat I have ever taken and teh same for Devin. we had dinner and I made sure when the pictures came back to  get him one. ^ months later he was gone. I didn't kno for over a month, because his parents could not find a number for me. But the picture thatthey used atthe funeral was our picture because "it wasteh only picture that they had of him smiling."He knew that someday he was coing to go, he made peace with that, and he made sure that everyone he ever came into conact with was a friend and that they knew how much he loved them. I miss your smile my friend "Saturday Night Spotlight" will shine on you always.

Love with everything you have. My grandfather passed away in 1979. My father moved to Denver in 1999 so I was the only man in my grandmothers life, and she was the sun in the sky in mine. She accepted my goatee at a foot long, she accepted that i worked at a bar, that I didn't believe in Jesus, that I I hadn't spoken to my own mother for over 3 years. But she was teh center of my world. Holidays consisted of Grandma Williams, work, calling the rest of teh family, and if I could at all possible just hide away until teh holidays were over. Every thanksgiving she made Lasagna, every christmas, Tacos. And every christmas she made cookies. 12 trays of cookies that hse took to family friends and friends of family. she even made cookies for my bar-lol. Christmas of 2003 she didn't make cookies. She was just to tired. She went into teh hospital february 3rda nd never came home. I was atthe hospital every day and teh nursing home when she could no longer stay at the hospital. I fought everyone, doctors, theripists, insurance, nurses, I would not let her stay there alone. I held her hand the day she passed. She waited for me to get ther, to say goodbye because she loved me so. She taught me taht when you have something taht you cherish, you even fight death until you know that tey will be ok, and she did. I have a plaque on my bedroom wall that I pass ever day I leave that says "Make your Grandmother proud today". A reminder to honor her by loving as she loved me

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair -- get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied,  waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my  son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in  time, he graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.  Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.  The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-
 in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's
 hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his
 step faltered. The family ate together at the table.
 But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing
 sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon
 onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk
 spilled on the tablecloth.

 The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with
 the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather",
 said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk,
 noisy eating, and food on the floor."

 So the husband and wife set a small table in the
 corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest
 of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had
 broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden
 bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's
 direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat
 alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him
 were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or
 spilled food.

 The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening
 before supper, the father noticed his son playing with
 wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly,
 "What are you making?"
 Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making
 a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food when
 I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to
 work.

 The words so struck the parents that they were
 speechless. Then tears started to stream down
 their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both
 knew what must be done. That evening the husband
 took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to
 the family table. For the remainder of his days he
 ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
 neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer
 when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the
 tablecloth soiled.