i see myself as i was
wanting to be in the world as it breathes
watching it all from afar so long i knew no other way
in a world that has white walls and no door really leading anywhere
used to yell at this fate when i did not know that i would live another day
now i know all to true that their is to much time out there and i wish i could look once again at the white walls and despair never having gotten out of here.
i see them now as only a comfort from the breathing that goes on
the death that does not come
the world that holds nothing that i want
i wish for the peace that my old world held
the chaos that is living i have no use
i see that i am not but the ghost of myself
not knowing not caring are a piece of myself i want back
least then i was not looking over my shoulder for the hurt
i did not sit and weep as much as i do now
i did not know the care of human touch
i did not know the nastiness of human touch either
did not have this raging want to bury myself
i was fine not being a part of the grand design.
even as i raged this i know now.
my innocence is lost so i am breathing now i see to much.
it sucks that my room has this door leading out to torment
now and i waste too much wishing for what was
just uselessly wanting back the room with the door that goes no place.
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