Have you eva sat there & thought about what happened to yesterday? Today was jus one of those days that I fell into my past. I can remember sittin' on tha homegirl's porch sippin' that suga wata aka koolaid wit tha big ass boombox all day everyday in tha summer, after school, and till all hours of tha night. Life was so complicated then to us and sittin' here 2day thinkin' DAMN That was life! I miss that shyt! We knew all tha words to all tha hits. (Not that its any different now, we kno music) but shyt made sense. I remember bein' told to go to bed and sneekin' to my bedroom door, layin' on tha floor and watchin' tv under tha crack of tha door because I wasnt done watchin' whateva show was on. I remember tha day my lil' sister Meghann was born and holdin' her in my arms and thinkin' she was the most amazing thing I've eva seen. I remember promising to be tha best big sister in tha world. (I've failed her on that promise now that I think about it I havent spoke to her in months and she's 10yrs old now) I remember tha day I told my lil brother to take care of my mom because I couldnt since I had to leave. (He kept that promise) I even remember back to when I was 3 yrs old and I saw my dad pack his shyt and leave. I knew he wasnt comin' back but I spent 90% of my childhood and teenage yrs treatin' my stepparents like shyt , just hopin' they'd divorce and I'd get my real mom and dad back together. I remember goin' down tha block to my otha homegirl's house and played Barbies on tha porch from sun up to sun down and continue on tha next day. She had ALL tha barbie shyt. I remember goin' campin' with her and her family in their RV and it flooded that weekend so we went tubin' everyday. Good tymes! I remember the day I had my son Kaleb and everyone I could think of from his dad's side and mine were in the labor room as soon as he began life. I layed there and saw so many people that had neva met in his dad and I's 8 yrs of friendship, all become one happy family all from one lil 6lb 12oz 19inch long angel. There wasnt a pain in the room that day (including me). Life was perfect for that one moment. I will neva forget tha day my dad picked me up from high school and had 5 tickets to the Boyz II Men concert. I cant believe the windows in tha truck didnt shatter from the shrill in my voice. (deja vu tha night of tha concert). Tha's love right there. I'll neva forget the time I eva made my dad cry tears. I had done a hit and run with my car and tha laws came to my house, tried to get tha truth outta me for 6 hours then they finally said if I didnt tell them tha truth the they were taken my dad to jail since I was only 15yrs old he was considered responsible for me and what i do. I looked them straight in the eyes and told them I didnt do it and I guess they'd have to take him. I had no heart for tha one person that eva took care of me and stood by my side my ENTIRE LIFE, no matter what i did wrong. That was the first time a "HURT" my father. I still to this day regret that shyt. I remember the day my daughter's dad came back and tried to take my daughter from me. I saw this man grab her hand and pull her down the driveway and a wrath I've neva experienced in my entire life came ova me as she screamed mommy, I want my mommy. I saw heaven, hell and death in an instance. I grabbed her, pushed her to my homegirl and jumped in his face so his anger would direct to me and off taking Chloe. Later that day he almost took my life from me and that was the last time he had ahold of me inside. I'll never forget the text message from Erikka on October 31st 2005, sayin' "Call me now, its an emergency" while i was at work dressed up for Halloween. I snuck outside called her and all I heard was "my baby is gone". I was for the first time ever in my life "Speechless". I had no feeling inside my soul.Still to this day I hear him say "Mamie, Mamie, Mamie" and then smile tha most beautiful smile I've ever seen. No one could ever smile like he did. I'd always tell Anthony to pick up his cheeks because they hung there like bags of potatoes. I miss my lil' man. He's the only one that ever called Chloe "Ke-Ke" Crazy enough she remembers that name and who gave it to her. My point is life is full of crazy shyt that doesnt make sense until later. It all boils down to tha same thing and situations continue to happen in the present that is similar to the past. Always make sure before you leave someone you care about that you tell them you care about them, cuz you neva know what tha next second will bring. Who gives a shyt if someone thinks your soft for sayin' it, let them live with regret of keepin' their mouth shut due to pride. So I'll gonna end this by sayin' to all my people either day to day friends, online friends, or life long friends from my past...I care about you and I'm thinkin' of you. You are what makes AJ who she really is...One Love
