DJScottish's blog: "sum funny poems"

Jack and jill went up the hill, to smoke some marajuana, jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked jill if she wanna. jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun, but stupid jill, forgot the pill, and now they have a son ------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little pig, she kept it fat and plastered. but then the cost of pork went up and shot the little bastard

A Chinese chef named Chang Made dishes of unusual tang. He stirred his wok With the head of his cock 'Til oyster sauce poured from his wang. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP WITH THE BOY ACROSS THE STREET WONT MY DADDY BE DISGUSTED ONCE HE SEE'S MY CHERRY'S BUSTED AND WONT MY MOMMY BE SURPRISED WHEN SHE SEE'S MY BELLY RISE ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon 10,000 volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylon. Mary had a bmx The seat was back to front And every time she pulled the brake The seat went up her cunt ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A certain young fellow named Dick Liked to feel a girl's hand on his prick. He taught them to fool With his rigid old tool Till the cream shot out, white and thick. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- There once was a man from Sydney Who stuck it in up to her kidney But a man from Quebec Got it up to her neck He had a big one didn't he! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I was young, I had no sense, Stuck my dick in an electric fence. It curled my hairs, it tickled my balls, It made me crap my overalls.

Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says i love you You belive its true but when your tummy starts to swell, he says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital a baby without a name the baby is a bastard the mother is a whore this never wouldn't have happened if the rubber wouldn't have torn ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a young lady called Dawn Who wished she had never been born. She wouldn't have been If her father had seen That the end of his rubber was torn ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once a pirate named Yates Danced the jig for all of his mates. He slipped on his cutlas, And made himself nutless, And now he's quite useless on dates. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs, "The men like to spread my two legs, Then slip in between, If you know what I mean, And leave me the white of their eggs." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary Mary quite contrary bought a dildo lost your cherry bought another, freaked your mother, now you have sex alone. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hate you, you hate me, We're a disfunctional family. Then a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor, No more fucking dinosaur ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I came here To shit and stink, But all I do Is sit and think. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish! Your cunt is as big as a dish!" She replied, "Why, you fool, With your limp little tool It's like driving a nail with a fish!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- An ode to the hole That never heals. The more you touch it The better it feels. You can rub it And scrub it And brush it like hell, But you will never get rid Of that fucking fish smell.