205275's blog: "superficially yours"

I will NEVER forget you, for real! I spoke to his mom and he is wanted right now i have no way to reach out to him. And he is out in the fucking streets. I wish I could let him know I got a bed and food for him. I don't know how to tell him I love him still after 12yrs. FUCK THE POLICE. Always trying to specify they know shit. And they are not always right. For real.

WHAT have you done to me? You got me twisted over you and we haven't even met up. I'm dedicating a song to you. It's a song from Justin Timberlake w/ Beyonce.

I can't get you off my mind. Maybe death is the only option for me..word up. I will never find you.....I don't want to start over. I'll pay a P.I to find you. If that doesn't work I will kill myself...do me a favor..find me by the moon at night when the stars are bright in Connecticut. I'll be there waiting. I thought if i moved back in January I find you again, I just wanted to have some of my life together..since we're close to get into 2009.

to the left of the house was my room and the way right was his. we used to play with water guns and he had a goal set in mind. lol. it was funny and absolutely erotic for me. But we were friends..none the less.

well I decided I am going to find him. He was last seen in Jewett City so I'm going there first. The only thing is his uncle who lives in Danielson keeps hitting on me.I have his number and IM and he is now saying things like, "I like you, you keep going until you get what you want." HELL YEAH. I do. But then he wants to send me pics n' shit. He has Matt's eyes but he is chunky like. I'm disgusted. I could be his granddaughter or daughter! but then....I am a freak....so yeah..if Matt doesn't come through I might as well get it on with someone who ls related to him. I'll moan Matt's name when I get my tight pussy banged. I'll even make Milton wear fucking clown paint and growl n' shit hahahaha... But that is the last thing. but that is only if I don't find him. Damn I am so horny right now. I only got horny b/c of my stupid fantasies. I can't get them out of my head. Daddy's little slut....omg...listen to me...Daddy's little girl gone wild...."FILF" "father, I like to fuck." ahahahahaha!!!! anyway, I was thinking of going to mechanic street first in CT. That is where he lived. I remember his short hair. and his fricking Nike shirt he wore and the NC hat. lol. his accent was erotic...he was a FREAKY horny little bastard. Grabbing my tits and what not.

Taking the time to go into the past into the stars you were special to me what did I do to be denied and left alone? I thought what we had was strong I guess I am a naive bitch and I am wrong I'll bleed out for you, cut my wrist throw myself away; forget you and realize you were never mine it was a moment in the past, a moment in time when you kissed me don't forget it was you who had it set..you were anxious but it was lovely yet...don't you remember what I wearing when you reached for me? I had clothes on but you wanted them off..I told you no we might get caught. you shrugged your shoulders and pushed me on the fridge kissing...kissing it lead to your bulge...a word you taught me I'll never forget.. boner..yes it was strong firmly against MY THROBBING PUSSY..HOW YOU WANTED IT IN...but I wasn't ready..you told me you were a freak..and you were coming in. I was yours and this was my sin. I was so wet...and ready for you...never happened because were caught.. when the staff saw you you turned around with a boner and distraught. your tan pants look so good I wanted you in But no, I couldn't not with the staff taking you away and punishing me for loving you. we did so much meeting you up by your window.

I went looking for this "guy" I knew from back in the day like 96 I think. Well we were in the foster care system together. And well I thought I found him. We were good friends...but feelings were there. I felt a connection with him that I didn't feel with anyone else. Well....I was told by his girlfriend that it wasn't him and basically he said the same thing. I felt doomed. I didn't understand why he was denying me. Well I thought..maybe he is diguising himself from me...hiding in a dark cloak...wanting to feed on his desires in the most meaning way...well anyway I decided to investigate and look for the real "guy" he had a record! and is on the run. GRRRRRRR..... back to square one.

But then you ignore my calls. WHAT THE FUCK. If I had a bat I smash all the windows and scream your name over and over. We spoke on Thursday and Friday. and then after that everything went to shit. I'm not sure what I did But I deserve an explanation. Honestly. I do.