teebabe's blog: "Teresa' Blog"

"To believe and to understand are not diverse things, but the same things in different periods of growth." Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come, I sick, headache, stomach ache, legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say, I feel great. I be work soon.....you got nice house.

Ingredients: 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups of dried fruit Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup ¦just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 1 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat. Cherry Mistamas!!

Someone send me a drink.. I am all dry over here... and i keep getting kicked outta the bar cause I ain't drinking nothing... I need something strong.... SOMEONE GET ME DRUNK PLEASE !!!!!!! lmao

January = Each Life Needs It's Own Quiet Place. February = Change Brings Freshness. March = It's The Little Moments That Make Life Big. April = Nothing Is Difficult To Those Who Have The Will. May = Only When We Are No Longer Afraid Do We Begin To Live. June = What We See Depends Mainly On What We Look For. July = Ability May Get You To The Top, But It Takes Character To Keep You There. August = Don't Ask For An Easier Life; Ask To Be A Stronger Person. September = The Best Way To Prepare For Life Is To Begin To Live. October = Happiness Is Where We Find It, But Rarely We Seek It. November = Success Is Often The Result Of Taking A Misstep In The Right Direction. December = I Take Nothing For Granted. I Now Have Only Good Days Or Great Days.

Hello all.. Just wanted to say Hello and good day... Hope you all are having a good time here at Fubar... I know I am... I am addicted to this site already... I don't know what all to talk about here... I guess I could tell you all alittle about myself.. I am married to bobby39426 .. We will be married for 4 years on April 17th. I have two kids from a previous relationship. My son is 13 and my daughter is (will be) 8 years old on January 22nd.. I love to talk to my friends online.. and I love Karaoke.. dancing... darts... pool.. And I love making and meeting new friends... I am a good person and I will be friends with anyone as long as you give me a chance to be your friend.. But if you ever screw over me then you can kiss the friendship goodbye.. Cause I might be able to forgive but I don't forget... So don't judge me before you get to know me first... "FRIENDS ARE LIKE DIAMONDS, VERY PRECIOUS, VERY RARE, SO CHOOSE THEM WISELY"

Things to do at Walmart When You Are Bored 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

Having nice sex burns 358 calories. Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories. Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories. Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile. Take off her clothes with her consent.........................12 cal without......................187 cal Take off her Bra With two hands..........................8 cal With one hand.........................12 cal With mouth.............................85 cal Put on Protection hard ........................... 6 cal soft..........................315 cal Foreplay Looking for target...................8 cal Finding G spot ......................92 cal I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal Entry Holding her..................12 cal On the floor.................8 cal With Different Position Missionary..........................358 cal Doggy...........................316 cal 69 lying...............................286 cal 69 standing.............................512 cal Italian hanger.........................912 cal Orgasm Real................................112 cal Faking................................315 cal After "O" Lying in Bed............................18 cal Hop off the bed............................36 cal Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal Get dressed Quiet and calm...........................32 cal Rushing.........................98 cal Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 ca Heard her dad opening the door.............1942 cal

Here's a great Christmas Cookie recipe that I thought you might want to try this year: 1 cup of water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the ****. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the ****. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.