son of sid's blog: "The cook book"

created on 10/13/2006 | http://fubar.com/the-cook-book/b13418

posted on 10/26/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;08:10&nbs-07:00;pm

Chest notes
http://fubar.com/chest-notes/b13418-905184

I feel like blogging today So I am going to tell all of you about a friend of mine named Dave Hartley. I have known good ol Dave for 14 years now. One of the most annoying features about Dave other then his incredible luck is the fact that he just refuses to die. I mean with the risks he takes he should have been dead a long, long time ago. So of course I felt pretty safe betting that he would be dead in the next 5 years. Well I was wrong and now Dave has been costing me $20 a year since 1995. Oh well.

So anyway years ago Dave used to make it a habit to pass out at my house on pretty regular bases. Now, if you have been reading my other blogs you will realize that passing out in front of me is kind of like dangling a piece of meat in front of a lion. I can not help myself. So there I was watching Star Trek minding my own business and there Dave was passed out on the floor during a commercial I looked over at Dave's passed out form on the floor. He looked so peacefull. Looking at my friend I realized that it would be a total shame to disturb him. While I was trying to resist the urge to do some evil to my friend I did notice a Permanent blue sharpie pen lying on the floor next to him. Luckily the commercial ended and Star trek came back on so I was suitably distracted from doing something mean and evil to Dave. This is a good thing because I really did not want to do something mean to Dave.

Eventually another commercial came on. So there was Dave, a blue pen, and boredom . I tried not to do it, but eventually I discovered the blue pen in my hands while I was busy coloring Dave's hand. I spent the rest of the night coloring Dave during the commercials. I started with his hand then I colored his face and neck, but eventually there was nothing good on T.V. so I went to bed.What I did not realize was that Dave had a job interview at Denny's the next morning and because he was out drinking the night before he woke up late and hung over. So he rushes out the door with his blue face and hands. Poor Dave…. The good news is that he did get the job. (GRIN)

Now you might think this is the end of my story, but well it is not. You see a few months later I get a call from the police. They wanted to know if I have seen Dave because apparently Dave got himself all liquored up and decided to walk down off the Mountain. I personally believe that a naked man on Casper mountain might have had something to do with it, but I do not know for sure.

So because I see that I need to do my Christian duty by trying to find my friend to make sure he is ok. I start calling around. Eventually I trace him down to a party at the K.C. apartments. So I go bebopping over there to try and find Dave. When I get there, I walk up to the door where I can see a VERY large passed out topless dude in a recliner. So I knock. The dude did not move. So I holler at him….. He did not even flinch. So I let myself in and nudge the guy…. He did not even snort. This dude was out. And I still have not found Dave, so I look around for something to write a note to Dave on. And all I can find is a black Sharpie pen and no paper. But that was ok. There was a passed out topless dude. So I start writing on the guys chest this note. "Dave, Call me! P.S. Do not tell this guy who I am!!" About two hours later I get a call. Guess who it was. IT WAS DAVE!!!! He was ALIVE!! YEA!! oh wait. Damn now I owe another $20! Ok, Ok I was happy Dave was alive! and he got my message. Apparently the topless man woke up saw that he had been used as a note pad and was PISSED as hell about it. So he called Dave up and yelled at him for his graphitied condition! Dave promised not to tell him who did it!!

Oh and if you happen to know Dave. Then can you tell him to give me a call. As I kind of do not know who's chest he looks at these days! So I do not know who to write on!(HA HA)

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posted on 10/20/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;01:10&nbs-07:00;am

naked man on the mountain
http://fubar.com/naked-man-on-the-mountain/b13418-900611

I just met a guy at the carnival tonight who came up to me and told me that he loves my blogs. It made me feel all warm and gooshy inside so I have decided to start writing them again. I have a lot of fun stories. Guys if you read these and like them leave me a comment so I know I am not talking to myself. Anyway as it is July and this story takes place on the 4th of July 1997 (I think) I will relate it to you.

I have a friend named James. One day James took me up the mountain to go to this party on the forth of July. He was a little concerned about me because I had just went through a really bad break up so he thought a party with a live band was just what I needed. To make me forget about all of my troubles! I do not remember the name of the band, but they played 70's music and often played with Pagan Rage.

So there I was tipsy. Ok ..ok I was drunk, listening to a band, in the middle of the woods, sitting on a log, staring into a campfire and feeling sorry for myself due to the breakup.

When the sound of crying started to pennitrate through my drunken stupor. I look over towards the direction of the sound and sitting next to me was man crying, wearing only a pair of beat up tennis shoes. I do not know how long he was there, but it was obvious that he had been sitting next to me for some time….crying…..NAKED! Did I mention he was NAKED?

Now, friends you know it is not very often that I find myself sitting next to a naked crying man in the middle of a party somewhere on Casper Mountain. I mean how often have you sat next to a naked crying man on Casper mountain?

There were several ways I could have handled this situation for instance: I could have asked him why he was naked, but I decided that was too obvious of a question so instead I asked him why he was crying? Between sobs of utter despair he informs me that he has a beautiful body and that he wants to share it with the world. So I look at him and say well it looks like you are doing a damn fine job of sharing it with the 40 or so people at this party right now. He explains to me that he wants to dance on the stage with the band, but they will not let him because he is naked.

Now friends stop and think to yourself what you would do? It occurred to me that the "almost Christian" thing to do would be to help this guy out! I mean all he wants to do is share the piece of art that god created when he made this man with the world! Now I ask you what is so wrong with that? So hiding my grin as best as I could I looked at the naked man and said all shocked "You mean these uncultured swine do not appreciate the symmetry of your body? Look at you! You're a fine specimen of a man! Do they really not want to admire your beauty?

Still crying he sobs "yes"

Doing my "almost Christian" best to console him I say "well, they just do not understand. "Hey!!! I have a great idea! Maybe if they do not appreciate you taking the time to share your body with them. Then maybe you should go and share your body with the people on the main road! There are lots of cars on the mountain tonight I bet atleast one of them will appreciate your body!"

Gentel reader I am sure that you will agree that I did right by this man. I know I did the right thing because as soon as I said it the naked man, who was wearing only a pair of sneakers took on a look of GREAT joy and determination. He dried his tears, thanked me for my wonderful idea and gave me a hug.(I could have done without the hug, but it was a small price to pay for making a total stranger so happy) anyway after the hug he goes trotting off to the main road wearing nothing but a pair of sneakers. and I go back to staring at the fire and feeling sorry for myself, but knowing deep inside I made the naked man happy!

After a moment or two of staring into the camp fire, I hear a voice behind me say "TRREEEEY!?!? All drawn out and sounding a little too much like my father.
Turning I look at James and say as innocently as I possibly can I said "Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaattttttt?"

James is obviously not buying into my innocent act and still sounding just like my dad he says "what did you do?

Now I know that the innocent card did not play very well, but I still try to play it by saying "what do you mean?

James says to me "what did you say to the naked man!?!?!?"

O.k. I am busted I know it and James knows it so I decide to come clean…. I mean what is James going to do? ground me? So I say to him
"Oh James it was sooooo Sad all that naked man wants to do is share his body with everyone at the party. Isn't that courageous and generous of him?"

James shakes his head and says "I know I keep having to pull him off the stage. WHAT DID YOU DO"

Ignoring his question I said "see, you are one of the people that are making him so sad, but don't worry I made him happy again!!!! Because I am a wonderful person spreading cheer and happiness to all who come into contact with me!"

James starting to get annoyed says to me "HOW?? TREY, HOW DID YOU MAKE HIM HAPPY AND WHERE IS THE NAKED MAN GOING? WHAT DID YOU DO????!!!!!!"

Grinning from ear to ear I look at James trying to be as innocent as possible I say "I well I kind of sort of suggested that he share his body with the people traveling on the main road"

Ok guys you have to understand James has known me for a lot of years and can read my sence of humor very well. Infact of all the people I know James is the hardest person to pull one over on, but lets get back to the story!

James groans and says. "Damn it Trey! I knew you did something FUNNY. This is a cool party and you are going to get it busted!!!!"

With that James goes stomping off into the woods after the naked man. A few minutes later the band is taking a break when all of a sudden we hear the naked man SCREAMING at the top of his lungs in the dark and spooky woods!!

He is screaming "NOOOOOOO!!!!! PUT ME DOWN!! I WANT TO SHARE MY BODY. I have a beautiful body! Not only that but it is obvious that mean o James has upset the naked man again as we can all hear him crying between screams!

A few minutes after we hear the screaming, we see James walking back to the party. and right next to James's head is a NAKED MAN BUTT. James has thrown the naked man over his left shoulder so that his BUTT was right next to his head!!! The naked man is kicking and screaming cussing at James and James is walking towards us with an amazing amount of dignity concidering there is NAKED HAIRY ASS right next to his head!! The whole time he is walking towards us he is GLARING AT ME!!

Let me tell you! The image of James carrying the naked man back to the party is burned in my brain! It is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire LIFE! I mean when James was coming back to the party I was laughing so hard I had tears justa rolling down my face.

Anyway this story does have a happy ending. James dropped the naked man off on the stage with the band looked at the band members and said" You might as well let him dance on stage cause I am not going to go and get him again" So We all were happy. James was happy because he did a good deed, the naked man was happy because he got to share his body with his fellow partiers and I got to laugh so hard I cried and I commited an "almost Christian" act!
The end!
In a few days I will post a blog telling all my readers all about the bunny cup!! Yes my 1st ex wife thought she was going CRAZY and this happened just before I married her. After this story I think every one will understand why she left me!

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posted on 10/20/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;12:10&nbs-07:00;am

The INFAMOUS BUNNY
http://fubar.com/the-infamous-bunny/b13418-900609

The infamous bunny cup story
CHAPTER 1 ENTER THE DRA….er mean ENTER THE BUNNY

Along long time ago I was married to a jealous woman, but I did not know how sneaky she was until the incidents that lead up to the BUNNY CUP AFFAIR, but in order to give you, my faithful readers the full story we need to start way back when I was still in high school.

When I was in high school my parents and sister were involved with Job's Daughters. Every year each bethel (chapter) would elect their leader called the honor queen. When an honor queen comes to office it is a big ceremony that is EXTREAMLY BORING and takes hours. Some how, I do not remember how I got conned into being an usher for Nessa's Honor queen ceremony. Nessa was an ok friend and also rather pleasing to look at. So I agreed to usher people by helping them to their seats and then sit through HOURS of TORCHER as people who I already know get introduced repeatidly over and over again. If you are or have ever been a Jobie then you know what I am talking about and no amount of describing the ceremony will accurately describe the hell that this ceremony is.

It is tradition that the honor queen give a gift to everyone that helps her with this ceremony so she presented us with these BUNNY CUPS. WHAT?!?!? WHAT A JIP I just sat through hell bored to tears and all I get for being quiet and sitting still for 3 hours is a BUNNY CUP!?!?! Little did I know that this little bunny cup was the GOLDEN key to one of the BEST jokes I ever pulled….. Well maybe not the best joke, but it is defiantly in the top 5.

I graciously accepted the bunny cup and sat through another hour or two of listening to the most incredibly dull ceremony on the planet being performed by young girls (I was young then too) wearing white togas!

After the ceremony was over Nesa realized that she had over bought bunny cups by two cases. So she gives her extra cups to my parents.

Chapter 2
GREEN EYED MONSTER LOOSES TO THE ALL POWERFUL BUNNY CUP!!
Or
IS IT REAL OR IS IT MEMOREX

Four or Five years later I find myself in love with a girl named Chris so being in love I moved her into my place so that sex could be more convenient. One of the things that Chris TRULY LOVED was coffee. This girl drank coffee 24/7 and her favorite cup was the bunny cup that Nesa had given to me years before. So one day we were sitting around doing nothing really just hanging out and enjoying each others company when she tells me how pretty the bunny cup is. I causally mention that Nesa had given it to me. The conversation immediately turned to how much Chris hated Nesa and what a mean horrible vial person Nesa was.

That was not how I remember Nesa I always thought Nesa was a sweet girl and very pretty to boot... Chris could see that she was not going to sway my opinion of my friend so she dropped the conversation and we went on with our day. It did not take me long to forget about the conversation and our lives progressed normally for the next couple of day then one day it happened.

One day I came home from work and went to take the garbage out when I saw sitting on top of all the garbage was the broken remains of MY bunny cup. The only thought that went through my naive head was "awww the bunny cup got broken. That's too bad as it is Chris's favorite cup." It did not occure to me at that point that Chris may have lost a battle with the green eyed monster and in a fit of jealosy she may have broken a cup that was a gift from a girl that she hated!

Well guys guess what! My parents had TWO cases of these cups that Nesa had given to them so here was a problem that was easily fixed! So I took out the garbage went to visit my parents and while I was there I picked up a bunny cup and took it home and put it in the cupboard. The next day Chris goes to get a cup of coffee and there it was the bunny cup that she thought she had broken. I was watching her as she made the discovery and all she did was give it a funny look and then poured coffee in it. We went about our lives for a week or two. When one day I found the 2nd bunny cup broken!

Now, I may be naive enough to think she accidentally broke it once, but I am not so stupid as to think she could have broken in twice. So I think to my self "THAT BITCH!!! is doing this on purpose!!! Well, we will show her!!!" You know what I did? Yes, you guessed it I visited my parents and replaced the bunny cup!

The next day Chris goes to make her coffee looks into the cupboard, picks up the bunny cup looks at me with a questioning look and says "I thought I broke this."

Looking Chris strait in the eye I say "Well, you obviously didn't cause your holding it in your hand."
Chris says "Yeah… HUH?."

She did not drink coffee from the bunny cup and the very next day I find the bunny cup is not only broken in garbage, but this time it is in a million little pieces, it looked like she put it in the trash and then hit it with something making sure that it was broken this time. I take out the trash like I normally do, but I did not replace the bunny cup. Nope that would have clued her into something was happening. No I waited two months then replaced it. When I did I made sure to put the cup in the very back of the cupboard so that it would not be obvious.

A couple of weeks after I put the 3rd cup into cupboard Chris discovers it in the back of the cupboard. She picks it up looks at me and says "I have been having the weirdest dream about this cup."

I give her the your weird look and say "Why would you dream about the bunny cup?"
She says "I don't know"

so I say "well what are you dreaming?"

She says I keep dreaming that I broke the bunny cup."

I said "that is weird and you know that if that cup got broken I would be upset because my friend gave it to me"

She replied "I know"

After hearing her acknowledging that she knows I would be up set if the bunny cup got broken. I descided I am going to let this thing go on until either she commits herself to the nut hut or I run out of bunny cups which ever comes 1st.

I must hand it to her. This 3rd bunny cup lasted quite a while, but one day about three months later I noticed that it was no longer in the cupboard and I could not find it anywhere. So of course I went to visit my parents because I had not seen them in 3 months or so..... and I needed a new bunny cup. While I was at my parents house my mom invited Chris and I over for dinner that week end. I accepted the inventation and went home to replace the bunny cup.

This time when Chris discovered the bunny cup, she looked at me and said "Did I tell you I keep dreaming I broke this cup?"
I said "no? Why would you tell me something like that?"

She said "because I keep dreaming I break this thing and everytime I am sure it is gone it comes back! This dream feels so real I could swear it really happend !!!!!!"

I said "Really? The dream is that vivid? Your right that is bizzare, but kind of cool that it feels so real that you think it actually happend!"

We went on with our lives until that weekend that is.

CHAPTER 3
CHRIS COMMITS A MAJOR FOOPA!!
or
Trey gets busted

Let me tell you a little more about my parents. I talked about them in the cookbook blog. My mother LOVED to have company for dinner. She prided herself on being an excellent host. My parents do not drink coffee, so when their coffee maker broke down they never bothered to buy a new one, but my mom knew that Chris was a big coffee drinker so My mom, bless her little heart went to the store, bought a coffee maker and all the fixings for flavored coffee so that Chris would have something she enjoyed to drink at the dinner table. Another thing you should know about eating with my parents is you never EVER cuss at the dinner table and if you are female you NEVER CUSS PERIOD!!

So there we were eating dinner having some real nice conversation when I happen to look over at Chris as she takes a sip of her coffee. Do you know what cup she was drinking from? You guessed it. IT WAS A BUNNY CUP! Like I said my parents do not drink coffee so the only coffee cups in the house were bunny cups.

All of a sudden Chris stops drinking looks at the cup, looks at me and then looks back at the cup as the last six months or so start clicking into place in her head and she realizes what I have been doing to her. She looks at me and says in tone that can only be discribed as thoughtfull disbelief "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

My mom gasped, my whole family was absolutely shocked that this sweet and extremely petite girl would say something so AWFUL at THIER dinner table. So Chris is glaring at me and the rest of my family is sitting in shocked silence. So to break the silence I start explaining to my mom that Chris suffers from terretts. Chris is not yelling, but she is being very forceful with her tone and says "I do not have Terretts. You Know EXACTLY what you did!!"

My dad very calmly ask Chris what I did so Chris starts explaining the last 6 months of breaking the bunny cup and how it kept reappearing. My dad stats laughing looks at me and says "Oh son, shame on you!!! That was not a very nice thing to do, but my god it sure is funny"

I spent a lot of time in the dog house, but eventually Chris forgave me completely. In fact we were married later that year.
One day after we were married out of the blue and for no apparently reason Chris walked up to me and asked me if I was rearranging her closet?

I said "No"

She said "No REALLY are you rearranging my closet?"

I said "Really I am not rearranging your closet"

She said "OK"
Friends I swear until she asked me if I was rearranging her closet I really and truely had not been doing it!
As for my activities after she asked me about her closet..... Well, I am using my 5th admendment right to not testify against myself.
I wonder sometimes why she divorced me!

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posted on 10/20/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;12:10&nbs-07:00;am

makes me sad :((
http://fubar.com/makes-me-sad/b13418-39927

I personally believe in true love, well I do! I have seen it, No really I have seen it, Twice.
I know a Wyoming couple, the man is a chemical engineer and the woman was a med tech, she did a lot more then just collects samples throughout the years but mainly she was a med tech. Once their children were raised they decided that they wanted to tour the world while they were still young enough to enjoy it, so the man took a very good paying job in Saudi Arabia for Aramco. This job would allow them to travel all over the world and provide a very nice retirement for the couple. They left Casper in 1992 and had a ball, they saw the pyramids, they have been to London, Greece, Germany and a whole lot more places then I could name. They even took up diving in the Dead Sea!!
About six years ago the woman was diagnosed with A.L.S. or Lou Garracks. As the disease progressed her husband slowly started buying things to help her do things she could no longer do like walking talking and breathing. The man has patiently watched his wife deteriorate until three years ago she was admitted to I.C.U. in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Even if they wanted to come home they can not because she is too fragil to be moved. Every day the man goes to work comes home takes an hour for himself then goes to visit his wife in the hospital. He tells her about any e-mails he gets from the kids and they watch movies on his laptop until the nurse kicks him out usually about an hour or two after visiting hours are over. As the disease has progressed it has continued to rob her of any ability to affect her environment about two years ago she lost the ability to speak. So they started to communicate through hand taps. The man is very patient with her. Through hand taps and barely audible whispers they were able to build a family cook book for their family with all the recipes that the family enjoys with pictures of the key points in their families lives they also sent the family Christmas cookie recipe to the Casper Star Tribune this last Christmas.
A year ago she lost the ability to speak at all or move her hand at all. So now the man and woman communicate through eye blinks!! The man bought a book for her that is nothing but questions that should be asked and written down so that family members can know who they were. So they have started answering questions from this book and e-mailing them to their family this is a very slow process for them, but it helps her to work on a legacy and to let people know who she is. When the woman's sister came to visit she asked the man why he was in such a HURRY to get to the hospital after work every day. He told her that every moment that he is not with her is a moment that he can never get back. He also told her that the time he spends up there with his wife is a gift that he gives her and he wants her to have. This man and woman have been living this life style for almost four years now. His health is getting bad because he is not taking care of himself. I do not know what will happen when she dies. I think that this is an example of TRUE LOVE!! And I have the cook book that my parents gave me to prove it!!! It is crammed full of the memories of their lives and filled with all the love that a family could possibly give. And the food tastes just like the food my mom used to make.
The cover of the cook book has my mothers prayer, that she wrote and comunicated to my father using hand taps and eye blinks.

EDENA'S LAMENT AND HER PRAYER
Now I lay me down to rest.
My God, I hope I did my best,
For there's no time to do again,
I'll tell my story and say "Amen".

Once I dreamed, but not of late,
Of another life, a kinder fate.
Of quiet streets in foreign towns,
To dance with Sid in brand new gowns.

But all my dreams were drempt before
Lou Gehrig's ball came through my door.
Strike 1, I stumbled, Strike 2, I fell,
Strike 3, I'm out. I live in hell

I can not drink, I can not talk,
I can not eat, or take a walk.
ALS, its cheating ways
Left me with my sorrowing days.

Laying on my hospital cot,
I do have time to think alot
Forsaking all my earthly things,
The air I breathe, my diamond rings.
I concentrate upon my soul,

To meet my maker pure and whole.
I give God glory and praise His Son,
With that compleate, I'm nearly done.

For trespasses great and trespasses small,
I ask the lord to forgive them all.
Now I have god's peace at last
My soul secure, my faith steadfast.

One more simple, little thing,
My life, long prayer to which I cling.
~

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

God Bless Mom, God Bless Dad,
God Bless Elaine and the friends that I've had.
God Bless my loving and precious family,
My little Trey and my littlest Ashley
And god bless my husband, my loving Sidney
Through God's Grace, We'll meet again, In Jesus' Name, I say "Amen"

Edena Anderson
Born: may 23, 1947 Died: 08-08-2008
--------------------------------------------------------------
Well I guess it is time to update this blog. Last week 8-3-2008 Aramco paid for a medical fligh to get my mom back to the states as my dad retired and was forced to move back to the states. It was hell on wheels finding a medical facility that would take a ventelated patient, but we did find one in Denver. I was able to see my mom and tell her all the things that were going on in my life and that I love her. It was real important to me that I tell her in person.
Her condition is pretty sad and almost all comunication has broken down. She is no longer able to move any part of her body other then her eyes and even thouse are pretty weak. Every 20 minutes or so my dad askes her if she needs something. If mom looks up and to the right it is a yes. So here is how thier communication works.
Dad: do you need something?
Dad will then wait 10 seconds or so to see if her eyes move. Then he goes down a list.
Head (10 seconds)
ears (10 seconds)
nose (10 seconds)
treach (10 seconds)
suction (10 seconds) My mom needs to have her throat suctioned every 20 minutes or so, other wise she feels like she is drowning even though the machine breaths for her.
after suction my dad asks do you need something else (10 seconds)
hands (10 seconds)
arms (10 seconds)
hips (10 seconds)
temperature (10 seconds)
do you need to be covered (10 seconds)
do you need to be uncovered (10 seconds)

My mom has developed an infection from the stress of the trip and being in contact with all the new people. It is resisting the antibiotics. So they have started new anti biotics, but we just do not know what will be next. I guess what ever will be will be, but I do know this. I am gratefull for all the gifts she has given me.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The last update

Well as some of you know mom is gone. That stubborn and persnikerty woman faught a loosing battle with ALS for 9 years. Most people last one maybe two years after diagnoses, but then this is my mom we are talking about, the most stubborn and resourcefull woman I have ever known. This blog talks about her death, but not about her life. She was born in Casper, participated in Cancer research and even taught art to royalty for over a year, even after she was diagnosed! She has been to 49 states and 39 different countries. She was a force of nature and the only advice I could ever give to anyone foolish enough to stand in her way was.............................. RUN!!!
She faught many moral battles and had the most annoying trait of always being on the morally just side. She always made shure that the person being taken advantage of was not only protected, but that the person doing the taking advantage lost the battle!
Her best trait the one that I could not have survived with out and was a constant source of encuragement was simply that she loves me. The only thing my mom lacked was involernability and a big red S on her chest!

Good Bye mom.....I am truely a much poorer man with out you. Till we meet again.

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son of sid