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all or nothing

It has been my honor to have fallen in love twice so far in my life. I will always have a spot in my heart that is thiers alone, but to be clear, I will never associate with either of them again. I will always love both of them, but I have been hurt and betrayed by both.

My biggest problem is when i let myself love a woman, I love with everything i have. Most women seem unable to handle that. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. When I love, I don't presume to own the person, which semsto be a major issue in todays world. I trust them until they betray that trust, which is also a big issue these days because it always happens.

The way I see it, if a woman wants to be with me, she will be. If she doesn't, she won't. The chase is no longer worth the pain of loss that is apparently inevtable, yet i still find myself wanting to love again.

Am I a glutton for punishment on an emotional level, or simply a fool who refuses to surrender to lonliness?

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