8:27 AM 7/25/2008-Friday
the storm...the storm..."it" rages inside of me...
"it" hurts...from inside... banging hard...day...after day...into night...still there...banging harder yet at dawn...
over...repeating...repeating...as the pendulum swings...it lowers...a bit...more...not yet does it touch...
but "it" hurts...just...trying to cut me...it hurts...
it stabs upward...again...yet again...and more...even more...
quickly...harder..."it" jabs...
longer...slower..."it" stabs...
cutting through...from the marrow...to the bone...
to the skin...though my flesh...sharding out...
the pain...indescribable...no words...there are none...not enough...to heal...
so i...stay silent...in the storm...
that rages...within...
i wont bleed...i want to bleed...but...what i want...has no say...
so i stay...yet...i won't succumb...
my body...will not give itself to death...
life has already taken too much...
i will not allow deaths greed...to devouer the last of me...
what is left...of me...
i despise greed...i am different...making me wrong....
"it's" wrong...so therefore...i must be wrong too...but...if not...
then somehow..."it"...will make me wrong...
right or wrong...it doesn't matter...
'it"...tries to make me scream...i won't...
there is no more...body left...
so "it"...tries to brutalize...my mind..
death...is it death that screams at me???...death...and all of it's demons???
it doesn't matter...who or what...or why...
but just...that..."it" is...
Belle... 8:27 AM 7/25/2008-Friday
