Holidays are when I miss the most. I start to look back and see who I've lost and what stupid mistakes I made. Always missing more those I've lost and loved the most. Decisions I've made I"ve now grown to regret. What ifs floating around in my head. Wishing I could go back in time and change the bad decisions I made. Would I be the same now if I did go back and changed my bad decisions, or would I be a completely different person? Would I be happy or sad like I am now? Would there be nightmares that wake me up or would I sleep soundly without a sleeping pill? Am I destined to feel like a failure? Is my life suppose to be this complicated? Would it still be this complicated if I was able to erase the bad?