For a few months now I have had a room mate named Crystal. Its odd the way she became our room mate as she was the new girlfriend of the ex best friend Ray. She came to meet him before halloween and we all hit it off so she stayed a few days and after a bit of a discussion she convinced me to allow her to move in and find a job near here since she was living in Poinciana with her family and they were in the middle of freakin no where there as well. So a few months have gone by now and her and I developed a closer relationship and began to refer to each other as sisters and not friends. This was very wierd for me since I am notorious for not trusting or being friends with very many females since I have a very bad track record of friendships with girls (usually I was betrayed one way or another) so for me to extend my heart to someone of the female persuasion these days is a major event to those who know me. Throughout this time frame I have given her clothes from my closet (all designer I mind you)..I dont shop walmart for clothes), my family has accepted her as a daughter, bought her a cell phone, new pc equipment, numerous xmas gifts, and much much more. She has done for us also but not to the extent we all have.
Now here in lies my burden... The other night we (Mat, Crystal & I) went to Downtown Disney to see Black Christmas (sucked ass btw), its now 9:30 pm and I had been stressing over financial issues and stuff already and Mat was not helping my mood any either and as we went to leave my brand new Louis Vuitton purse broke in 2 places on the handles... This was the breaking point for me... and to add insult to injury Mat noticed that from the stickiness of the floor a napkin had stuck to my shoe and at that same moment Crystal laughed at something else apparently and I felt a direct blow of laughter at my expense (in my head at least) and flipped out on her.
Oh no, the story doesnt end there... Now I'm a raging psycho (yeah I forgot my meds that day.. LOL) and stomping off ahead of them and verbally bashing both in the process. I had started to calm a bit when I got to the car (although I was planning to bail on them) when Mat yelled something at me and set me off again.. well i didnt have the doors locked so they both tried to get in.. Crystal was first and I screamed for her to get out of the car and tried to reach for her and she flinched so I missed. I didnt intend to hurt her, only get her out of the car so I could be alone. I even throew Mat out and when he wouldnt get out I did and took off running. Ok so flash forward to 10:15 pm and I am crying, scared cause i cant find anyone and feeling guilty as hell when I finally convince a Disney Security Guard to let me use his cell phone to call Mat. So I find Mat and now Crystal is no where to be found and is refusing to answer her phone...either it goes directly to VM cause its off or rings 20 times till VM.
1:00 am we finally give up looking for her and trying to call and go home. I sleep like shit and periodically try to call her phone. 9 am rolls around and no one has heard from her (not even her mom) and I'm online sending notes to everyone on her messenger list to find her. My mom's calling hospitals and jails, her mom is a wreck and Mat is trying to call her down. Finally at about noon sometime she calls her mom and says "I'm safe and at a friends house" and hangs up. After some research we find she had a friend get her a bus ticket to Summerville, SC and now she's telling people that I "Yanked her out of the car by her hair and punched her in the face" and wants her dad to get her stuff out of our house as she's not coming back here ever. WTF!?!
Ok first of all I never laid a hand on her, second I am NOT the punching type (if I were my ex Tom and the past 2 gf's he had would be bloody pulps!) Second, Is this "spat" really just cause to move to another state and end a friendship with the first girl in 15 years that I have trusted enough to call a best friend and a sister?
Now she wont talk to me unless she's screaming at me or her little psycho "friend" Lissa is blathering on about how pathetic and violent I am in the back ground. And I am sitting her torn between anger and pain... I feel hurt and betrayed once again and it all seems so artificial to me almost like it was planned and this was the perfect breakaway point. I mean come one, you call an out of state friend and tell them you are "stranded at Disney" and instead of helping you find a way home or to your parents they buy you a bus ticket to SC?! I know not all girls are evil bitches but I'm still waiting for one to prove me wrong....
So I sit and cry for a few then wonder why I'm crying over someone elses childish behavior... then I feel angry and want to lash out until I relize it will solve nothing.... so how should I feel? How should I react?
Your comments and views would be greatly appreciated.
~Kat
