I can divorce Chad and not even shed a tear. I can tell my best friend Stacey to fuck off and die and not even sniffle. But to walk away from whatever we had and never speak to him again even tho' I love him with everything I have is damn near killing me.
I know it's for the best but why? Why can't we hold it together, and work it out? Those are questions I'll never have the answer to. I wonder if he will think of me. If he even loved me half as much as I loved him. I loved him for all the times he showed me love because when he did I felt safe. I havent felt that ever in my life.
I am going to miss him so much. I wonder when the tears will stop and I'll be happy again. I dont even want to think about anyone else. All these fuckers come at me,but I can't even stand the sight of them. All saying the same thing that they can ease my pain. There is only one person who can do that, and we agreed to stay away from each other. There is only one person's bed I want to sleep in, only one person I want to snuggle up againist and I cant. Please God let these pills kick in, help me sleep tonight. Take away this pain that's deep inside me. Take him out of my heart. I dont want to love anymore. I just want to be numb.
I hope sleep comes soon because I'm tired of crying...
