Okay so i just felt like sharing if anyone else want to also..thats fine...
Well on Monday I had My MRI, which is why i wasnt here all day. I hate tiny enclosed spaces so they gave me a part of a XANAX and told me to lay down and go to sleep. And well a few minutes later i was still laying there and they come into give me an iv for a contrast dye that they had to use for some pics. And as soon as i got done....i guess they released me ....i don't remember much about it, but i guess i had insisted on going to IHOP. I found this out later and just had to laugh at myself for it... i guess my grandmother had sat there watching me eat..and i kept missing my mouth. So anyways i then we got back into the car some how. Well I found out later on that that happened. Thinking back on to what happened that day its tooooo funny....i find humor in the oddest things sometimes..so i hope that this makes others laugh as it did me.
Okay this is the situation i am in. I am living with my grandparents and trying to better my life and myself. I have been asked numerous times what I want to do and what i want out of life. I know what some of my plans are but how can you make any plans if you dont know what the future holds for you? I know i want my family to accept the person i am with for today and tomarrow and the near present future for who he is. I know that my life needs some improvement and i am thinking of going back to school. I know that some of what I want will never happen.I know what i need to do, and that is to get things straight so i can go out and get my own apartment and deal with life. But also i just got a bunch of bills taken care of too, so i am just thinking what is it that i really want in my life.
I know i want LOVE and HAPPINESS and to be able to pay for bills and then be able to have more money so i can go and still take care of my other needs and wants. I know in the future i want to have one maybe 2 kids. I also know i never want to be homeless so whatever i decide to do i have to be able to support myself. I think working in an office would be fun..and i would love to be able to be on the computer all the time and i am thinking i would make a great secretary. But i am not sure what else i can do, and what i want out of life...like other ppl i know they know what they definately want and i know i am not like them.
So i have two choices....one is to sleep on it...aka make plans and then decide how to go about them or to just ignore the whole thing....
To appease my family they want to see me get things going in my life so i think i might just go and apply for ACC or something..not sure yet.
Or i could tell them like this
../. *^^*../.
Why should i have to put up with anyone who wants to control me? Why should i deal with the people always being in my business? Why should i have to live with the people who chose to be little me ? Why should i have to put up with the family always wanting to get into my business? Why should i have to always answer questions to people who dont need to be in my business? JUST WHY SHOULD THEY BE IN MY BUSINESS? WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO PRIVACY AND TO LIVING YOUR LIFE WITH OUT ALL THESE QUESTIONS? WHY SHOULD PEOPLE EVEN CARE ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO DO IF THEY DECIDED THAT THEY WEREN'T GOING TO DO IT ANYWAYS? WHY JUST WHY? I haven't done anything to be in the wrong about my life. I just want people to accept my decisions and accept me for who i am. I want people to understand that i have my own choices and i dont need drama. I am only me and therefor thats the only thing i can be. People decide to hide away and decide to be away from their families for a reason. Its bullshit that people want to question you and its bullshit that people want to always think they can tell people what to do. I mean i have enough of tha bullshit all the time at work, so i dont understand why am i to tell people what i am wanting to do and then have them tell me that i cant do it. I am sorry but i am me and i am goign to be the best me that i can be. I dont need stupid people going around telling me what i need to do and what i dont need to do. I didnt ask for them to be into my business and i didn't ask for them to cause the problems that i have in my life b/c of them. They are always calling me rude and hatefull and stupid and things..I know I should get away from it. I am going to get away from it soon..hopefully within the next 5 months. I dont want to be in the house i am in and i dont want to be anywhere with all this drama...I am getting tired of it. The family just doesnt get it, I need to be me and my family just needs to back off.
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