so i'm out sick with some dam spring flu and don't get online for a long time, and did anyone send me an email? or leave me a message asking how i was? makes me wonder why i even bother at all... some days it doesn't seem like its even worth getting up any more.
i don't have a dam clue what i want to do with my life...i know that i like movies, playing outside, comics, sex....what the hell are you going to do to earn a living like that? shit.
i dont have any close friends any more. everyone from high school is married or moved away, and we just don't seem to have anything in common any more. i just dont seem to be hooked to anyone or anything. not close to my family, co workers.... don't have any serious women i'm dating...wtf??
so here i am...wondering why...why do i even bother? i'm so sick of going thru the motions. i don't enjoy life as it is. and i don't have a freakin clue as to what to do about it.
so fuck you. its my turn to whine. if you don't like it, dont fuckin read this.
i don't like math enough to finish a college degree, although i know that it's almost mandatory to get anywhere today. i've taken an apptitude test which suggested shepherd as one of the possible professions....fucking stupid test...hahaha...i hate freakin sheep - they are so dam stupid....
so where do you go to answer the big questions? is there any reason to keep going thru the motions? is there any point to all this crap? is there any hope out there?
if you think you might even begin to have some answers, feel free to email me - bmctool@hotmail.com - and don't just say gee, i understand. you don't have a clue what i think or feel inside. so i'm being hateful? do you even care?
perhaps the entire point is just to survive...to fuck my brains out whenever i get the chance, but to survive to the end without quitting.....
who the fuck knows.
