Chicky Fu Owned by's blog: "joke"

> Subject: FW: A must read!! Buying Monkeys > > Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the > villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. > > The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to > the forest and started catching them. > > The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the > villagers stopped their effort. > > He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This > renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys > again. > > Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to > their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys > became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let > alone catch it! > > The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, > since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy > on his behalf. > > In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at > all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I > will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you > can sell them to him for $50 each.* > > The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys > for 700 billion dollars. > > They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of > monkeys! > > Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN > WILL WORK !!! > > >

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane. The stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?' 'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. 'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interestin g topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane. The stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?' 'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. 'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interestin g topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

Hi All, I checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this virus! This is the worst virus announced by CNN. I checked Snopes (URL above:), and it is for real!! Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS! You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,' regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a mail called 'POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a friend, do NOT open it! Shut down your computer immediately. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept. COPY THIS E-MAIL AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS. REMEMBER: IF YOU SEND IT TO THEM, YOU WILL BENEFIT ALL OF US. Snopes lists all the names it could come in.

>> Halloween Story >> >> A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he >> hears: >> >> BUMP... >> >> BUMP.. >> >> BUMP... >> >> Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the >> image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the >> street toward him. >> >> BUMP... >> >> BUMP... >> >> BUMP... >> >> Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing >> quickly behind him... >> >> FASTER... >> >> FASTER... >> >> BUMP... >> >> BUMP... >> >> BUMP... >> >> He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes >> in, slams and locks the door behind him! >> >> However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the >> casket clapping... >> >> clappity-BUMP... >> >> clappity-BUMP... >> >> clappity-BUMP... >> >> on his heels, the terrified man runs! >> >> Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart >> is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing >> gasps! >> >> With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door! >> >> Bumping and clapping toward him! >> >> The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can >> find is a bottle of cough syrup! >> >> Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... >> >> and...... >> >> THE COFFIN STOPS! > > -------------------- > > --------------------

Hope you can send the green dog back to ME! Read Each One Carefully & Think About It a Second or Two 1. I love you not because of who you ar e, but because of who I am when I am with you.. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't meanthey don't love you with all they have. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is fall ing in love with your smile. 7. To the wor ld you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8.. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person , we will know how to be grateful. 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.. 12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON. True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know! But some of us have all right friends & goodfriends!!! You have been Tagged by the Green Dog! ,-._,-.. /)'(/ (_o_) ruff!!!!!! You will Have Good Luck For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more andif this is sent back to you then you are a true friend...... (Phew! Just made the eight, hope it works!) You must send it in 5 minutes or your good luck will run out -

> > A five year old boy and his grandpa are sittin g on the front porch together, > when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler. > > The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?' > > Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' > > The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'. > > Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'. > > A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. the little boy asks: 'Can I have a > cigar Grandpa?' > > Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' > > Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'. > > Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'. > > A little later the little boy comes out of the house with mi lk and some > cookies. > > Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?' > The boy asked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass ?' > > Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass'. > > The little boy replies, 'Then go fuck yourself. Grandma made these for > me'.

A koala was sitting in a gum tree..... smoking a joint When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side.Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey you!' So the koala looked down at him and said, 'Shiiiiiiiiiiit, duuuuuude..... How much water did you drink?!!'

Fw: Fwd: It could be Worse..... -------------------- THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!! A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, Your Son John PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a bad report card, it's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home --------------------

A LOVE STORY. Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old eno ugh to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine." Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.'Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?" Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far." Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.