Mellyrama's blog: "Non-Fiction"

I started to develop a liking for the darker side of music, movies and art around the time my brother introduced me to GWAR... so around 13. My brother often talked about gruesome things, probably trying to gross out his little sister and only sibling, but insted it sparked more of an amused following from me than a retreat from his presence. I liked to gross out people as much as my brother did. I have since surrounded myself with horrorcore rap, horror movies and graphic reality fatality movies, which have pretty much scarred me from actually enjoying seeing graphic violence to being more thrilled by the concept. Developing into being grossed out by gore has only heightened my liking for horror. I started getting into demonic art around the GWAR time as well. I would draw graphic pictures of people dying and would hold on to any clippings of gorey art I could find. The internet made it much easier to appriciate dark and morbid art. I have downloaded graphic programs and made dark graphics that seemed to be a hit with my peers. Serial killers had started to facinate me around my late teens and I started reading as much as I could about them. My favorite was the Countess Elizabeth Bathory and used her last name as part of my alias that I make dark beats under, Bonnie Bathory. Someday I hope to have a whole wall dedicated to horror movies and serial killer memorobilia... maybe a whole room if my house permits. I'm not crazy ok, Its not that I condone killing, thrillers are just that, thrilling... an easy cheap rush. Don't be scared :)

Actually, I got 2 CDs at the same time. I think I was 10, I may have been 11. One was the Motion Picture Soundtrack of The Big Chill and the other was C&C Music Factory. Both came from my mom's subscription to Reader's Digest. I had always loved music. I started music classes with viola, chorus and piano in 2nd grade, when I was 7. I stayed in chorus every year since then, quit viola completely and taught myself piano later after learning to read music through chorus. I started off liking the classic rock and roll vinyls my father would put on as he taught me to play pool. At the time, my mom was into oldies and that sparked my love for that genre. The love for both rock and roll and oldies has stayed with me thoughout my life so far. Then as Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, NKOTB and other poppy stuff came out on MTV I plastered my walls with the posters of the performers in teeny bopper magazines. I would hold my recorder up to my radio and make mixtapes of buttrock and early 90s pop music to rollerskate to. Around 10, I got into my moms new age stuff briefly because I still embraced my emo side and hadn't been introduced to blues or country yet. At 11 or 12, Country sparked my interest the same time that R&B and TLC did with groups like Bel Biv Devoe, Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey got big. I started sneaking into clubs with my other 7th grade girlfriends and practicing the dance moves we had learned on MTV. About a year later I started getting into my brother's alternative and punk rock music. When I was 13, I started going to punk rock, metal and alternative concerts as often as I could. I learned how to mosh, skank and crowd surf and did so on a regular basis until the venues I frequented started holding raves. I loved music and went to the venues anyway. I didn't really like too much techno... it was hard for me to dance to, it was too fast and it sounded like a broken record a lot of the time. I got into happy hardcore breifly for a few months delighted to hear madonna remixes. After a few months I got more into jungle, drum and bass, reggaeton and breakbeats... I liked how people danced to them better and started to pick up on it quickly. I raved pretty often for around 2 years, drugs included. This was also when I got into reggae because I was spending a lot of time with potheads. At around 16, my best friend at the time, and favorite equally-terrorising raving buddy, introduced me to west coast gangster rap which sparked a nearly 10 year dedication off and on to nearly solely the hardest gangster rap I could find. Weirdly enough I was also singing in a Christian Rock Band at this time and was really into christian music. After 18 I was going to clubs and mixing my early hoochie dancing with my mid-teen dnb dancing. I started getting into the lighter side of rap and hip hop around 19, having met a lot of breakdancers at the clubs, and have continued to play it often now at 24. I started downloading beat making programs and making my own beats. I had been writing rap since 17 and still do both off and on to this day. 19 is also when I got into blues, lowrider oldies and vocal jazz... downloading a lot of billie holiday, frank sinatra, bb king and muddy waters. I started taking blues back as far as I could around 23 and decided most of the quality in it is too crappy to listen to often, but its good for that nostalgia blues when you're feeling old timey. The last year or so I've been getting into the emo, screamo and hard metal genres more. Ive always liked hard rock and metal but neglected a lot of it in my gangster rap stage and find that I have a lot of catching up to do still. I don't care about people hating on emo and screamo... its the next generations modernized version of alternative. I've breifly browsed through classical MP3s on the net and worldwide music as well but not enough to really get into it at any point yet, though wouldn't rule it out. I'm still into most of the music I've ever been into... not into the christian, new age or country and thats about it. I'm teaching myself how to play guitar and once I've achieved that I hope to write and peform my own songs of mixed genres at open mics.

I was 12, in 7th grade, and my friends all had boyfriends. It's not that I was a late bloomer in liking guys, I was just a bit shy and not really one of the pretty girly girls like my friends were... I was more of the tomboy in the bunch. I didn't go shopping for clothes and paint my nails I set bushes on fire and smoked cigarettes. One night my girly, but also deviant, friend Tara was over and she was on the phone with her boyfriend whom I had never met. She told me he had a friend that wanted a girlfriend and convinced me to talk to him. After about 10 minutes on the phone with him he asked me to be his girlfriend and said he wanted to come over and meet me. I was hesitant but said okay because I had never had a boyfriend and wanted one. Tara ended up inviting the guys over to my parents' house that night and they showed up somewhere around 3AM, far after my parents had gone to sleep. My new boyfriend, supposedly 16, walked in wearing a leather jacket, an american flag bandana and tight jeans. He had a full goatee and smelled like cigarettes and B.O. Looking back I'd say he was really more like 21-22, maybe older. I sat next to him for about 5 minutes before telling them I was tired and wanted to go to bed, he smelled like shit and was by no means cute. My boyfriend said he had come a long way and wasn't going to leave without a kiss. I looked at Tara who was full-on making out with her man (I should have known, because this was not the first time I had seen her making out with a full-grown looking man). I told him my parents were going to wake up soon and that they really had to go but he strongly insisted he get a kiss before he left. He held on to my shoulders and kissed my neck and I turned my face and gave him a short peck so he would let go and leave. He did and I never saw either of the two men again.