Mellyrama's blog: "Ramblings"

Though I dislike talking about things concerning the passing of my Father, these are my thoughts and I suppose I have to acknowledge them, especially if they are good ones... this came to me so fluid it had to be destiny, cuz it felt right instantly without thinking it over... it just made sense. Right now I drive a 1998 Dodge Neon with no a/c and a lot of body damage. I also have no stereo and the car is covered in dust because I don't love it. I've had the car since I was 16, minus the 3 years it took to have a rebuilt engine put in... and I've only had it back now for about a year and a half. When whatshername sells my father's house I'm definately going to buy a new vehicle. I hadn't decided what and don't care to spend much over $10K because I'd like to save most of what I'll have for other things. Tonight, I started browsing through auto trader ads out of boredum and didn't see anything I liked for around that price that didn't seem like a boring cheap piece of shit. I decided to look through some classic car ads instead. As I was doing so I happened upon a pretty red 1972 Chevy Nova. My mom, who had woke up and come out of her room to smoke a cigarette just before then, then mentioned that was my dads car when they met eachother, a gray 1972 Chevy Nova. Perfect. Any way I can tie this money to my Father when I receive it will make me feel better for losing nearly all of his personal possessions, kind of like substituting sentimental items i never received with creating new ones in his memory. I also plan to get a sleeve tatted in his memory... what yet, I'm not sure, that's another blog.

10. Clive Owen 9. Steven Dorff 8. Colin Ferrel 7. Edward Norton 6. Jared Leto 5. Jude Law 4. Leonardo DiCaprio 3. Johnny Depp 2. Christian Bale 1. Brad Pitt

I get a lot of compliments on my smile, and to be honest, I just don't get it. I'm not getting down on myself or anything but I'd be less surprised to receive compliments on other things. I don't think I have a fucked up smile or anything, I just don't consider it somethin to write home to mom about. I'd maybe understand if it was brought up on a rare occasion but I receive compliments on my smile probably a dozen times a week from strangers. I'm not complaining or bragging or anything other than simply perplexed about it. I've also heard from several men that Jennifer Aniston is number 1 in hottness in their celebrity top 10... I don't really get that either. I always thought she was kind of plain and homely looking. Sweet and all but nothing really striking just overall cute at best. World, you never cease to keep me guessing. I'll probably never understand your taste in appeal... it often seems far different than mine.

Asking your mom what her top 10 hottest celebritys are. Her answers were: 10. Pueblo Bryson 9. Sean Connery 8. Michael Jordan 7. Robin Williams 6. Leonardo Decaprio 5. Brat Pitt 4. Steven Segal 3. Anthony Hopkins 2. Clint Eastwood << lol #2 shes so old! 1. Antonio Banderas I was crackin up as she told me, Robin Williams? Anthony Hopkins? LOL! Good times.

I love people. I love bringing out the brightest side of them. I love to confront them on their good qualities... not so much for their appearance or possessions (I'll give props on those too though) but for their more deep rooted goodness that shows in subtle ways. I love when people smile at me and show me appriciation for aspects of me beyond the more shallow and exploited things. I love when people premeditate bringing a smile to somebody's face without expectations of personal gain. I love watching people interact as much as I like to participate. I think everybody deserves as much love as they can get, how some act with and without love is questionable and that nobody is unloveable... there is always at least one aspect of a person that deserves respect and anyone can be appriciated, respected or loved for anything by anyone. I think there aren't enough people who see past trivial differences to who people really are... the core basics of what drives them. I appriciate diversitiy and differences in personality, tradition, expression... most things. I find that I surround myself with many various types of people and that I love to learn from the individuality in all of them.... and though I've met thousands of people I feel like that is nowhere near enough. My favorite artistic creations are commonly derrived from profound thought and/or intense emotion most often from the obscure, dark and soulful natures... I love when people express themselves in uncommon ways. I love people with skills... any skills... and people who strive to have skills or knowledge... and people who enjoy bettering themselves in general... ambition is a great thing. I think that seeking consistancy in what people say and how they feel, think and act is trivial... and the concept is mostly degressive to the maturing of a person's mind. I think there are too many people who reject friendships based on trivial personal charactaristics. I trust very few people in general, trust only a few in certain aspects but love many and don't weigh trust as heavily in determining friendship as I weigh individuality... probably not the most socially intelligent way to live but I prefer to live as though the majority of people close to me in life aren't trying to betray me, even if experience has proved otherwise. Responsibility and committment are my downfalls... but I have a lot of good qualities... its up to you to see and appriciate them... I'll know if you truely do