Hello from Mother Russia, land of dancing bear,vodka,oligarchs,mail order bride and 20-25,000 thermonuclear warheads.
I have decided to have a page on this fine website to show you some of the wonders of my great county, because i feels we Russians get a bad press in the West. It is myth we are drunk all the time, there are parts of the country where we are only drunk 70% of the time, these are isolated pockets i do admit but it shows progress.
The above map shows Russia(for Americans wondering what the big red shape is)
I woulds also like to clear up western misconceptions regarding our humor, we are seen as dour and humorless, nothing could be father from the truth. We did laugh at least twice a year in the past, but now we laugh every time we hear George Bush, he should really get his own show, boy is he funny.
Best ever Russian joke
The KGB, the GIGN and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The GIGN goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
высокопоставленный иностранец удрал от своих советских
сопровождающих, сел в поезд и слез в глубине России. там его заинтересовало широко раскинувшееся учреждение за высоким забором и с вышками по углам. из обрывков разговоров он понял,что это "лагерь". он явился в райком с просьбой показать ему этот лагерь. срочно снеслись с центром и получили указание показать гостю этот лагерь под видом пионерского. к приходу иностранца на заключенных надели пионерские галстуки
And can i address the issue of the evil that is sweeping across our lands, and poses a huge danger to both Russia and America in the coming years, i am not of course talking about Islamic terrorists and there like, i am referring to the much worse group of individuals called journalists, there evil is a cancer, we have found thallium to be a particularly effective treatment for the problem.
