QC aka His Light Fury's blog: "Ramblings of a Busy Mind"

When people understand that 6 Corporations control 90% of the media you are ALLOWED (censorship) to see....and think about the probability that if Mary sees something on MSM (Main Stream Media), and calls Kelly who says.....OMG, I just saw the same thing but I was watching (insert another MSM outlet here) and they both call Jim and Jim says.....wow you guys...I was just going to call you, I was watching (insert yet a different MSM here) if they all saw the same thing from multiple "trusted sources"....It has to be true right??? Or (logical thought), consider the possibility that a narrative is pre-crafted and that it is ALL coordinated.

They all claim to be so honest

The words they say, they really believe

So practiced are they in storytelling

Of real honesty they cannot conceive

The truth splinters around them like shattered glass

And they carefully select which parts of the story to tell

Priding themselves on their ability

To deceive others so well

But their deceptions are not flawless

The pieces never really seem to fit

Gaps and inconsistencies in the story

Lead others to question it

And with every piece that is missing

Or deliberately left out to save face

Another piece of my trust is lost

That cannot be replaced

I am broken…many years of emotional abuse and bad relationships have diluted the person I feel I should/could be.

I do not hold anyone in particular responsible, and I am not looking to be fixed or saved…to the extent possible I have already saved myself…in the sense that I know I am broken and for the most part, I understand why.

I am not sure exactly when it started…or if maybe it was there all along…at what point exactly did I begin to feel inferior or not quite good enough??? I wish I could pinpoint the trigger and undo it.

In my own family I feel inferior and like a “black sheep” if you will…No matter how hard I have tried to make myself “worthy” in the eyes of those whose acceptance I need most...my efforts and accomplishments seem to wither in the face of their judgement…it never seems to be good enough…I never seem to be good enough.

We are products of our experiences and we know that which we are taught…we teach people how to treat us and I believe somewhere along the line, my respectful (what I believed to be manners) and subservient (liking to help others and needing to feel needed/wanted) nature has allowed me to be viewed as weak and therefore taken for granted time and again.

This feeling has perpetuated a vicious cycle in my life. I feel inferior for whatever reason and therefore feel I need to do what I can for people so they appreciate/need/want/love me.

So I give and they take...and take and take…until there is nothing left for me to give…then the resentment starts….because the people I give so much rarely if ever give anything back…and I never can understand why…look at everything I do and give to you…is it really asking so much…appreciate me…love me…

They say they do…but I never FEEL it…I feel empty inside…and I feel used and taken advantage of.

Actions speak louder than words for me…words are nice…but not when the actions contradict what is said.

I have lost trust/faith in words. Without the action to “validate” the words…they just have become empty platitudes used to placate my need to feel appreciated and loved. It all feels like lies.

Empty promises and apologies as well as a million excuses serve to solidify the feeling that I am not worth the time/effort if it means it would interfere with something they would prefer to do.

It hurts them when I point this out, how could I think they don’t love/appreciate me? I feel guilty for hurting them with my words and resentful that I have been put in a position where such ideas could even have been conceived.

I am torn between feeling guilty for making them feel bad and angry that they don’t feel guilty for making me feel as though I am not worth their time and effort.

A quick dose of sanity. When you are fearful because of the number of positive COVID-19 cases you are hearing about, please also pay attention to the number of recoveries. There is little to no doubt many people are going to come down with the virus. It is highly communicable in that it silently spreads far and FAST. This is mostly because people do not even show symptoms until well after the virus has been incubated.... i.e., you do not know you have it until you are well on your way into it. During that incubation time, you are shedding / spreading the virus...so well before you even know that you are sick. But, just like the regular flu, it makes people sick and then it passes...i.e. they recover. Again, please pay attention to recovery rates. Now true, there are some that are more susceptible to becoming very ill, but to keep it in perspective, they are the same that are always at higher risk for complications from the regular flu...i.e. elderly, children, and immuno-compromised people. The panic is going to come because the number of people with this is going to spike...likely exponentially...this is going to cause intense fear and anxiety...the kind that can get out of hand. Those negative emotions and that palpable fear, the flames of which will be fanned by the media, is going to create a very negative energy blanket that will be very uncomfortable. Fear is a potent emotion. Please think for yourself, just imagine the regular flu powered by a turbo...this has already been widely spread in the last couple of weeks because people did not know they were carrying the virus yet....and the numbers are going to spike and the media will probably inflate the numbers to incite maximum panic. People ARE going to become sick with a flu-type virus, and the sheer number of people that are going to test positive is going to be hyped by media .but then, after the panic and fear-mongering is accomplished, the majority of people are going to recover as it passes through their system just like multiple other viral illnesses. The biggest difference being how far and fast it spreads. The most dangerous part is going to be managing the public panic that is going to come as a result of the numbers of positive cases that are going to skyrocket. God bless and keep all of you that read this. Help where you can, God just might be using you as the miracle someone else is praying for. Most of all, let your faith swallow your fear, and keep your thoughts positive and uplifting. Visualize the positive outcome that you want, and trust and believe it into existence. Your thoughts/prayers shape your reality and it is with faith and thankfulness that your prayers are answered. Maybe not in the way you expect, but in the way that serves the highest purpose of your intention in the best possible way. "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." excerpted from – Ephesians 6:10-18

Everything I write in these blogs are just my opinions and ideas. There are very few certainties I will acknowledge.

1. God is real. I AM. is the biggest truth there is, as far as I am concerned.
2. There is no reality, there is only perception. We each view reality through the lens of our own perceptions.
3. I have no idea “what” I do not know.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

That scripture really makes me think. Especially when bad things happen. What good can possibly come from this…and for who? It sure does not feel too good to me.

To stand on the promises given in scripture though, we must believe them.

So, I started to think deeply on it. ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE WHO LOVE GOD.

To love God, you must know God…and to know is to be known. (Book of Life….maybe)

All things work together …by divine providence “according to His purpose”.

So, maybe He can control anything/anyone that has a connection to Him…that knows Him, and He therefore also knows?

As long as there is an aspect of Him in a person, they are able to be reached and are also able to reach up themselves, and are therefore able to be used as an instrument to carry out the will of the Lord according to His purpose.

There are no coincidences, it is all planned...but on a path...if you are on the path, you see the synchronicities and learn to follow them to end up where you are meant to be.

So, I am the first to say, I DO NOT CLAIM A RELIGION. I BELIEVE RELGION IS SIMPLY ANOTHER DIVISION - Religion is the ritual of things

i AM HOWEVER VERY SPIRITUAL....but my truth exists above the division ...my truth is about the relationship, the connection to source.

I believe that God…no matter what name you call Him/Her is CONSCIOUSNESS - hence I AM. 

I beleive that we are eternal spirit beings living a human existence, and that the purpose of life is experience. We are all on a journey to find our way back to source..

Like a droplet of water that is originally part of an ocean, but also is an entity unto itself....and finding its way back to once again become part of the ocean.

We are all from this same divine source. Love your neighbor as yourself because your neighbor is in fact yourself. We are all one.

 So what then might Hell be?

I think hell is eternal separation from source, without hope of reconnecting.

If all is energy and consciousness, then separation from everything forever would feel like that.

Left only with your thoughts, and no hope of being saved from it.

Trapped in your own mind in loops of the worst things you have ever done.

The guilt fueling it, making the fire of your shame burn until it feels like it will incinerate you.

With no hope of forgiveness or redemption ever…eternally denied.

to me...THAT SOUNDS LIKE HELL

Most people cannot be in their own head....

I know I often cannot be in mine.

Remove hope of the escape from that from that equation.

That feels like a possible depiction of what hell might be.

To be continued…

Gratitude is what turns what we have...into enough. We have so many blessings...and the state of gratitude is such a welcome change from feeling a constant state of lack. Opening our perceptions to what we actually have, instead of what we believe we are missing. Energy flows where your attention goes, and what you think about, you do in fact bring about. If you are depressed, you are stuck in a past you cannot change...the only way out is to figure that out. Learn from it, but move forward.  iF you are anxious, you are worrying about a future that is not even here yet....but you are creating it.  Your free will choices and the things that get your attention and the things you chase and how you feel and what you do...manifest destiny.  See, truth is, the only place you have any power is NOW...what are you doing right this minute.  Future proves past...If your future ends up being what you are wanting for it to be right this moment...ie your current intention for your furture...if it is truly what you want...then your NOW choices and actions need to support that...so when looked back upon, you can validate that you were on a path of your intention....we are writing this story, every word, every page, we are the architects of our reality. We each view our reality through the lens of our own perception...but that perception is only as effective and reliable as our awareness...or awakeness...???? Interesting concept that. Find your truth...stand in it...speak your intention and then let your actions and choices support it...Hardest part for me is even deciding what I want that intention to be. it is like trying to grab a foothold in a tornado to figure out what i even want. I mean really want. Not sure why it is so hard. But Lewis Carroll said..."if you don't know where you are going, it does not matter which way you go" and I find that to be brilliant. You have to conceive of a goal or a desitnation before you can set an intention for getting there. Once you have that in mind though, all other decisions can then be measured against your goal...and you can then decide whether your choices bring you closer to, or further away from that intended destination, as well as determine if a deviation is worth it. 

Ok, well now you know why I called my blog the Ramblings of a Busy Mind.  Would be curious if anyone has any input about it. LOL

I was listening to a song about addiction...the particular song is about heroine I believe, but it made me think...addictions are more than just drugs. Addictions are anything you chase out of need.  Some people chase drugs, some chase money, some chase status, some chase women, some chase men, some chase toxic relationships.  We chase what we want....or why else would we chase it. 

I guess at that point it means we have to evaluate what we want...what we think we want and what we really want. 

Here is the hard part....We will usually only aim as high as what we believe we deserve. Whatever satisfies and proves our inner monologue about who we are and what we are about. 

Our story is unwritten, but we are writing it every day. What we chase serves to define us.  What do we want....what do we really want? 

Seek and ye shall find...which is only half a statement, the rest should be seek and you will find that which you seek. What are you seeking? 

I have not been in this blog for a long time. I can't believe it is still here. Well since it is still open for use, I guess I can use it as a place to capture some of the ideas that pop into my head about the nature of our reality or the motivations to actions...or whatever else pops in mind. 

So my thought is that there is no such thing as reality, but rather all is perception. I say this from observing that the way a person is raised builds the foundation of their perceptions. In order for you to experience something, you first have to become aware it exists to define what it is. Our minds will not allow us to process things about which we are unaware. Meaning not able to be part of perception. 

So by way of explanation, lets say there is a new car you see and really like. You suddenly keep catching glimpses of it around town, maybe in a commercial, passing you on the highway. You look into what it is and details about it etc. you are AWARE this car exists and like it.  At the point you likely start seeing that car everywhere. 

Do you think that car just all of the sudden showed up all the places you are seeing it, or is it more likely it was always there and the difference is you are now aware of it. 

Our entire reality is a projection of our perceptions. 

A person's perceptions are their reality.