Friday, July 06, 2007
Who needs men if they are all liers
Current mood: irate
Category: Romance and Relationships
Let's a Big Breath Out...Where do I start. My chest tightens just at the thought of writting this. First of all I know people are getting mad at me because I am not commenting or paying enough attention to them, I wish I had all the time in the world to do so. I can say I'm just about as sick as I was in January when I went in the hospital. How is a single parent suspose to get help when they have no one to watch their child. I didn't mean to start this blog so harshly but its true. Everything is falling apart and I can't keep it together....people are just making it worse. Friends want me to go places with them, I really need to be at home resting and cleaning house. I get online and I get bombarded with IM's Sarah..sarah...are you there hello Hello...If I wanted to talk to you I would say HELLO. I really didn't mean this to be so harsh. I love all my friends, but people need to realize. I am having a breakdown right now. I have found out that 98% of men are the most unbelievable Liers. I have comptemplated telling people I was gay or I had lied and I am really married. I like the internet...I like the internet friend scene and I have no plans to meet unless some Great person comes along and then they are my everything. I had that person and lost him and I'll never get him back...and it breaks my heart. All I've wanted to do was heal the hurt, and what are people doing but playing MIND GAMES....DRAMA...LIES. I am 31 years old with a daughter and I DON'T have time for that. It amazes me the rackets these people run. Sometimes I pretend not to notice or catch on...but it's unbelieveable. There is no integrity anymore. I'm so dissappointed. I had Faith that things would work great....and no I am trying to find a way to live without a man for the rest of my life because I don't ever want that shit pulled on me again. I'm just so sick of all this i just cant worry about whats best for anyone but hannah and me. I'm tired I'm sick...I'm emotionally...Physically ....Spiritually DRAINED. I have no more to give. NOTHING NADA...ZIP ...ZILCH...I just wish I could crawl in bed for a LONG Time...sleep...be alone. I wish I could get my head on straight. I wish i could fix things at work. I wish i could get my bills caught up I need a roomate so bad. I use to be such a good person... but as much as I have been lied to i guess they burned the good out. I use to still be sweet after all the bad stuff happened to me...I had a good attitude. I use to believe in Chivalry...I use to believe in Happy Endings ..I use to believe my prince would come save me...but None of these things will ever happen.
