You know I woke up this morning and for some odd reason INTELLEGENCE & COMMON SENSE slapped the living shit out of me.
I picked my ass up off the floor and asked, "What the fuck was that for?" The two of them looked at me and just started to laugh. Com Sen said to me, "You really don't know do you?" "Um Hello... if I did I wouldn't be asking." "Why do you want to be like all the rest? Look at them... pathetically doing anything for attention. Playing whatever game it takes to get votes and points. Not one of them would toss you a rope if you were drowning."
I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall to think. Intell and Com Sen knelt down in front of me. "We aren't trying to hurt you or spoil you having some fun. We all need that in life and we need to know people care about us. What we don't need is to Whore ourselves out to get that." Intell's eyes were intense as he continued to speak.
"Do you think there is any intellegence in people when they put some of the pics they put on here? I mean the internet is huge and the chance of someone they know seeing them is greater than ever now that so many use the internet. Imagine the reaction of family or friends when they see the pics posted of their loved one and friend. Not to mention how that just baits the Online Perverts and Sex Predators."
Com Sen looked up to Heaven, then with a sigh said. "God what has happened to our values and morals? I do not deny people the right to do what they want but they should at least think of what it can do." He then shared this story with me.
A single woman with a young daughter decided to join an online dating site. Being all new to the internet and the online dating scene she followed her heart when creating her account. She never dreamed that there could be any harm or danger and these sites must screen their members. She was totally honest with what she wrote about herself. She listed her true city she lived in, the job she held, and even children and pets she had. Then came the picture part of her ad. She picked a picture of herself that was most current. Deciding she wanted to continue being honest she proudly added a picture of herself and her 6 yr old daughter and the family dog. Once she had her ad all set she went ahead and posted it.
Barely 2 weeks later she had this very handsome, professional man e-mailing her. She was amazed at how kind he was and truly thought he was the man for her. He stated though that he was over 500 miles away from her but was still interested. To her credit though he was so perfect she was still cautious after several friends told her to be careful. First he wanted to talk to her on the phone and asked for her number. Now they had only been talking about a week so she explained she needed a little more time. He agreed but still occassionally tried to persuade her. Within a week more he said he was feeling a lot toward her and wanted to come see her. Again she declined asking him to be patient. She told him she really liked him but wanted to give it some time. He was less understanding this time and made some comments that made her feel uneasy.
Well after a month's time she realized he wasn't all he said he was. She started avoiding him and not reply to his e-mails. He got pissed and showed it in the subject line of e-mails because she started just deleting them. She was really scared and finally decided to delete her ad form the dating site. Things were quiet for about a week or so. Then one day she opened her personal mail and saw an e-mail with the subject line. "You think you can hide?"
She had saved up all the e-mails and such when he started getting crazy and she told a friend about it. They decided on Monday they would talk to her lawyer and the police. (This was on a Friday night.) That evening she took her daughter to the movies with another woman and her daughter. While at the mall she noticed a man at the coffee stand. When the man turned to walk away pure fear raced through her. It was him, or was it? How could it be he said he lived 500 miles away? She tried to turn away and hurry into the theater but it was too late he saw her. He glared at her insanely but as she turned to her friend to tell her he vanished.
Shaken but still not sure and not wanting to dissapoint her daughter they went to the movie. They got out when it finished, no sign of him. Maybe she just thought it was him. They drove home with nothing strange happening and went to bed. During the night the dog awoke and wanted to go outside. Not thinking about it and knowing the dog had done this before she let him out. She waited and waited but he never came back. She was in panic and called her friend. She told her friend about the mall and they called the police.
With all the info and a picture of the guy the police started checking into it. The next morning the woman got an e-mail again from him. She opened it and he simply said... "How easy it was to get your dog... your daughter will be even easier." Now imagine the terror she felt. Again calling her friend and the police with this new information.
Turns out he was a registered sex offender. Fortunately enough he wasn't an intellegent one. They were able to trace back his e-mail ip address and find out who he had internet service through and then where he lived. Within 2 days he was in jail. Thankfully he never harmed the dog. The man ended up going back to jail for kidnapping the dog, harrasement, and a few other things they could throw at him.
What the woman learned was how easily someone can be someone totally different than what they say they are online. She learned that stretching the truth about things like location, job and family until you really know someone isn't lying it's just plain smart. She knows now that life is hard enough on our children and that she doesn't need to make it harder.
Six months later with the help of her friend she tried the internet again. I'm proud to say that with a new approach and using safe measures she did meet a wonderful guy. They took it slow, used public places to meet and with friends, and after a year relationship got engaged and married. So there basically can be happiness and sincere people online... but there are even more freaks, predators, and dangers than we realize.
Com Sen looked at me and said, "I know you aren't out there dating nor are a lot of others but do you understand now how deadly it could be?"
"Have fun, make friends but be intellegent about it. You don't have to be naked, talk like some sex God, or use fake pics. Be yourself and if people are worth being your friend then they will be. Otherwise they aren't worth your time or effort." Intell smiled knowing that his message had been made.
They both reached down, took my hands, and helped me up. I thanked them for the lesson and for helping me realize that who I am is someone worthy of true friends. I don't need to be a number or a rating and I don't need to let my behavior show my LACK of Intellegence and Common Sense.
I can't make other's see it like I do now. All I can do is stay true to myself. Just know that ever choice we make has a consequence. The question is... Can you live with your's?
Be Real, Be You, Be Happy
